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laplaine man
Dec 10, 07 - 2:39 AM |
Jokes
A cowboy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it's a gay bar. "What the heck," he says to himself, "I really want a drink." When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the cowboy, "What's The name of your willy?" The cowboy says, "Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want Is a drink." The gay waiter says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your Willy. Mine for instance is called NIKE, for the slogan 'Just Do It. The guy down at the end of the bar calls his SNICKERS, because 'It really Satisfies.' The cowboy looks dumbfounded, so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over. So the cowboy asks the man sitting to his left who is Sipping on a beer, "Hey bud, what's the name of yours?" The man looks Back and says with a smile, "TIMEX." The thirsty cowboy asks, "Why Timex?" the man proudly replies, " 'Cause it takes a lickin' and Keeps on tickin!' " A little shaken, the cowboy turns to two fella's On his right, who happen to be sharing a fruity Margarita and says, "So, what do you guys call yours?" The first man turns to him and proudly exclaims, "FORD, because "'Quality is Job One" Then he adds, "Have you driven a Ford lately?" The guy next to him then says, "I call mine CHEVY.....'Like a Rock!' And gives a wink! Even more shaken, the Cowboy has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his manhood. Finally, he turns to the bartender and exclaims, "The name Of my willy is SECRET. Now give me a beer. The bartender begins to Pour the cowboy a beer, but with a puzzled look asks, "Why Secret?" The cowboy says, "Because it's 'STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN! |
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laplaine man
Dec 10th, 2007 - 2:40 AM |
aNOTHER A calm, respectable woman went into a pharmacy, looked the pharmacist straight in the eye, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide. The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The woman replied, "I need it to poison my husband." The pharmacist's eyes got big, and he exclaimed, "Lord, have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen! No! You CANNOT have any cyanide!" The woman reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well, now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription." |
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laplaine man
Dec 10th, 2007 - 2:43 AM |
What A Wonderful Husband Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: "Hello" WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?" MAN: "Yes" WOMAN: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?" MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much." WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2006 models. I saw one I really liked." MAN: "How much?" WOMAN: "$68,000." MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options." WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing....The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000." MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000." WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!" MAN: "Bye, I love you, too." The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment. Then he smiles and asks: "Does anyone know whose phone this is?" |
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