Is your question still valid?
Do you still expect an answer?
Probably is not important.
Here it goes anyway.
I’m looking at my chewed pen, the opposite end of the useful side, chewed by the feverish thought of the first contact with the paper. The deserted white, without any sense of the paper has always fascinated my imagination, drowning all my energy into an unstoppable hemorrhage of thoughts.
There is nothing wrong in dreaming, but the only problem I see, is that the same way those soap and water balloons pop through the air living just a wet stain on the floor, the same way my beautiful dreams barely leave unreadable hieroglyphs lost among innocent blue lines.
The same words, once said by a very known and full of essence writer, that stopped me years ago are still dragging my hand away.
“If I would have just known how many great books have been written I would had have never start to write”.
Who said to exile all the poets from the City?
A suffering Humanity by the sins of our ancestors.
Guilty by the sin of pride, I write just to dump some of the load cumulated through years of intellectual inactivity.
Mea culpa, mea culpa,…
I swear I’ll replace the expression “so what” with the more obeying “if “. My gesture has an explanation, probably, by understanding to a different level of the cumulative “and”.
Not only a simple morphologic syntax but a way of accepting life by being able to add exhausting experiences to our earthly existence.
More and more “or” has become in our days a luxury.
The chaos and rush we’re living in have reduced our chances of being able to choose between different alternatives.
I guess, paying tribute to our comfort, life took away from us the great right of heaving a choice.
In order to pursue one of those fragile “soap balloons” we have to accept a complexity of situation that comes with the big inertia cumulated through generations.
So, now I can write that “if” you would like this you have to accept “and” this “and” that “and”…..
On Eden times Eve and Adam had the freedom of using that alternative of the powerful “or”.
This “or” that, and if non-of them they still had the right to “so what”, until they met the snake, shaped as a question mark “?”.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away!
So to answer your question, my hart is still looking to gain back the right of will power.
A powerful “or” without the “if” (I guess my mathematical background).
Sorry if I am allover the place but I am at work and even though I come in with an hour before everybody else it is still not the best place to get your thoughts organized.
Please tell me which well-known author said: “If I would have just known how many great books have been written I would have never started to write"?
I love to read, but I don't want to read the same books over and over. I want new stuff. New ideas. New characters. New plots that are relevant to our lives today.
Never let good books defeat you, only inspire you. Stand on the shoulders of greatness, don't bow to it.
Now quit chewing on that pen. Action is the only thing that will overcome your fear. Join a writers group and become one of the greats yourself.
