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Subject:   Re: It's Been 8 Years, Yet I'm Still Grieving
Name:   Nikki
Date Posted:   Mar 26, 08 - 7:06 PM
Email:   bignik4ever@hotmail.com
Message:   My son passed on Feb. 7, 2008 and during my entire pregnancy my family was not very supportive, even when I was on bedrest. Although I'm 25, living on my own and out of school.
My mom called me weekly asking me to get abortions and my fiance's ex called me harrassing me and told me she hoped me and my baby died. Well my son was born at 24 weeks and died at 5 months 9 days.

The day we took him off the ventilator my mother showed up and all she kept saying was I hope you don't get pregnant again anytime soon, but I already was. I still haven't told her and I still haven't forgave her b/c I felt she never wanted me to have him anyway.
Now she calls me telling how much she misses my son. I really just think she feels guilty.
I think some mothers (including ours)may feel that having children ruined their hopes, dreams and lives and they don't appreciate the children that they do have. They really take being a mother for granted and they will never understand our pain. The only people you can really talk to is other mothers who have also experienced a loss. I was lucky to have an Aunt who lost her baby son and I was able to share my feelings with her but even her way of coping seems different from mine. I believe you have moved on with your life b/c you are still here but I don't think you'll ever be able to fully get over your loss.
Maybe telling your mother how you felt they were happy you lost your child will bring out her true feelings about her grandchild. Ask her how she would feel if her child passed away at any age? I'm sure she'd be devastated for the rest of her life and she would want her family to be supportive because when one person in a family losses a child the entire family has lossed one of it's members and a piece of the future.
   


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