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Poets' Coop's E-Group Forum: A Virtual Writers' Group

Need some feedback on a work in progress? Try the Poets' Coop's e-Group. Cut & paste your poem into this free "electronic bulletin board" for others to critique. To get your own creative juices flowing, maybe you just need to reflect on another's poem or to give our monthly Poetic Challenge a try. Come give some constructive criticism. Check back often to see what the others have to say or check the box to get an email whenever someone has commented.

Poets' Coop's E-Group Forum: A Virtual Writers' Group
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translation: G. A. Becquer - Rima 1

I know a strange gigantic hymn
that announces dawn in the night of the soul,
and these pages are cadences of this hymn
that the air diffuses into shadows.

I wanted to capture it, a man
taming a rebellious, stingy language,
with words that were at the same time
sighs and laughter, colors and notes.

But the struggle is in vain; there is no code
able to confine it, and barely, oh my beauty!
hearing it, could I sing it to you alone.


[original Spanish]

Yo sé un himno gigante y extraño
que anuncia en la noche del alma una aurora,
y estas páginas son de este himno
cadencias que el aire dilata en la sombras.

Yo quisiera escribirlo, del hombre
domando el rebelde, mezquino idioma,
con palabras que fuesen a un tiempo
suspiros y risas, colores y notas.

Pero en vano es luchar; que no hay cifra
capaz de encerrarlo, y apenas, ¡oh hermosa!
pudiera al oído, contártelo a solas.