supaheader

General Forum
Start a New Topic 
Author
Comment
I'M A BADASS!

I am the baddest MF'er you have ever seen! My parents were never around from the time I was an infant clear up to adulthood so I pretty much raised myself. I taught myself to walk. I don't drive, I walk everywhere, cars are for sissies. I smoke cigarettes backwards! When I have to urinate really bad, I tie my weiner in a knot just to see how long I can hold it. I can eat 14 hot dogs for lunch, nothing to drink please. I brush my teeth with Comet once a month. I used to cage fight but the cages couldn't hold me, I'd always get out and beat up somebody in the audience. When I take something from the oven, I do it bare handed, oven mitts and pot holders are for pansies! I don't need friends, they just get in the way or I wind up beating them up.

I'm the best football player around, I don't need a team, I am the team! Coaches get on my nerves, I already know what to do. When I am on the field, you better look out, I'm your worse nightmare. I'd just as soon knock you out than have to tackle you. Referees can't get to me and their flags mean nothing. If I get a penalty called on me, I'll blame somebody else. I don't care if I embarrass my team, I am the team and I don't get embarrassed.

That's right, I'm crazy...Crazy Carl!

Are you crazy too? Crazy Carl wants to hear from you!

Re: I'M A BADASS!

I'm so bad, some countries use my poop as currancy.

When I take my HGH, I put it into a syringe and eat the syringe.

When I fart, an angel dies.

I died 3 years ago, but Death is too scared to tell me.

Re: I'M A BADASS!

????????

Re: I'M A BADASS!

well at first I thought maybe I know who you are but then I checked and you aren't who I was afraid you was so just have some fun with this crazy Carl at least you are entertaining

Re: I'M A BADASS!

Right on my brother, you just keep on checkin'! You must have one of them incredibly ficticious trackers I see advertised. Carl don't care, he's CrAaAaAzY!

Op, gotta run..the timers goin' off, pot holder schmot holder, Crazy Carls gotta go grab his onion rings!

Laterz!
CC

Re: I'M A BADASS!

Oh yeah, you ever been bobbin' for french fries, tough guy???
That HGH thing was gross, that stuff tastes nasty. Did you dip your onion rings out of the grease with your "peety"

Re: I'M A BADASS!

carl r u a dumb ass r u on meds are u searching for guys on here??? what is the real deal

Re: I'M A BADASS!

Carl you dont know Mack. Mack is football, Mack is intensity, Mack is not wack. So don't mess with Mack or your gonna get a crack. Mack is feirce on the football field and even better at refering to himself in the third person so watch out for Mack ya never know when Mack is behind your back. To all the Broncos here comes Mack, the big Mack the hitter Mack the Mackiest of all Macks that there has ever been. SO all you Mackamaniacs out there get ready because whatcha gonna do when the Macamaniacs and the Broncos run wild on you.

Re: I'M A BADASS!

I know a guy so bad ass one time he had 7 sobe's shit his pants in mid game kept playing.Oh yea he was the center.

I know a dude who had a sack full of a gauze.And had to pull 2 inches out of his sack everyday and cut it off.

I know a guy who got KO in a game thought he was batman.

I know someone who karate chopped KJ in practice like it was nothing.

I know a guy who plays porn on all 11 of his monitors in his suv at practice.

I have seen Vader on a football helmet

Have you ever been to charlie browns with the legend himself No you havent.

Have you walked a full year with guys so crazy you wouldnt believe it.

I have want to know who they are.Its called the brothehood. AKA South Central Broncos

Get any crazier then that

Re: I'M A BADASS!

As bad as you think you are, you STILL AIN'T WAYNE!

The Wayner was THE baddest ever to lace up a pair of Semi-pro cleats. Beyond the sheer talent, he was the most selfless player in an increasingly selfish environment.

You think you got game but you ain't GOT WAYNE!

Re: I'M A BADASS!

There's something y'all need to know about me...... I smoke crackrocks!!1

Re: I'M A BADASS!

Hurricane Wayne?

Re: I'M A BADASS!

I dont like to toot my own horn but some people say I am a bad Fother Mucker.

I once ate 5 marshmellows at once.
I stayed up past 2 am on new years five yearsin a row.
I went into the girls restroom at Texas Roadhouse and pooped...AND DIDNT FLUSH!
I didnt show up to work one day and I lied to my boss the next day.
I SITLL have not paid one of my parking tickets.
I shot a bunny with a frozen paint ball and crushed his skull.
I only pucked a little bit when watching 2 girls 1 cup
I got kicked out of a high school sectional dive meet for unsportsman like conduct. They took my varsity letter away and I didnt even care.

So I would say I am a pretty tough guy.

Re: I'M A BADASS!

YOU ACTUALLY REFERENCED 2 GIRLS 1 CUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: I'M A BADASS!

Yep, that just happened