Hello there I want to thank all of you for your support on here and to give me the reassurance to try WW one last time prior to doing the GBS. I SO WANT TO LIVE!! I know I must remain faithful and make this a life style.It will be a struggle for me but I realize I just got to begin.A little about me.......I am 45 years old. I have a daughter who is almost 20yr. I buried my first husband 7 yrs ago from Pancreatic Cancer.It was the worst time in my life watching him die.He only had lived (if you could call it that) 9 months and 3 days from the date of diagnosis. My inlaws and best friend who married into his family have nothing more to do with us.Infact,the grandfather told my daughter at the grave site that their life ties are now buried.They died with her father. And I was to remain his faithful widow.But with no contact from his side of the family.My husbands family never got along with anyone!! So it was nothing we did or did not do.In fact my husband told me all the time that my family was his family.He enjoyed my parents to his own.We basically saw his side of the family on Holidays only.Yet they lived 2 miles away! But on the bright side I have remarried an awesome man for almost 4 yrs now.As far as my health I am severely obese I have sleep apnea,high blood pressure and cholesterol,asthma,and a arthritic back.And most recently my knees are becoming arthritic too. I have a tough time moving around at this weight and with the pain from my back and my knees locking up.I am 5'7 and weigh 395 at the present.This exact moment in time I vow to begin WW and stay on program.With your support and friendship I want to make this happen.Life is so short!! We need to live it to the fullest!!Every day above ground is a good day! Thank you for being here for me.Thank you all.......

cheryl, good for you! it sounds as if you have had it rough. i am an emotional overeater and can empathize. i was at 318 and have lost 85 pounds, and if i can do it anyone can! i dont post often but it seemed like you need a friend, consider me one of them and it seems like there are a lot of nice people here. good luck and stay with it, YOU CAN DO IT!!

cheryl in Tenn

Cheryl,

I know how hard it can be. I just joined weight watchers because of some physical problems I have also. This extra weight is for the birds!! Anyway, I wanted you to know that I am rooting for you.

Diana

Wow...congrats to you for staying so strong through all of those rough times! We will all be here to support you through this journey, and thank you for sharing your story with us...best of luck to you!

P.S. I'm from MN too :D

Cherly thanks for bearing your soul to us, this I feel is a safe site.
I can so relate to you and your loss, I lost my best friend and soul mate after a 20 yr marriage, he died at age 42, and from that we bore two great children, my daughter was 17 and my son 14 at the time of his death...
He died from Brain Cancer, from the day he was dx and had surgery exactly one year later he died,
Talk about being shattered and having a world fall apart, as I feel deep into the depths of hell, with a hole so dark there was no way out.

I didn't turn to food, I turned to Alcohol and drugs, heavy duty drugs, I turned my back on my two kids that I adored and would have given my own life for them. IN the grips of the booze and drugs, I didn't care about anyone or anything, I was on a mission to die. my story gets worse but I won't go into depth about it...

Fortunately for me the substances I was using brought me to my knees real quick and with that my visits to detox was freqent, i can look back now and say those nut houses saved my life.. It took me 5 trips in to finally realize i had a problem...

A problem turned into a solution, i was told to go to AA, that was Feb of 1989, and today I still go, almost daily.. I just celebrated 18 yrs clean and sober....

THen i turned to food once again, and put some weight on but I knew where to go, I went straight back to WW over the course of the last 18 yrs, hit goal a few times, stopped going and gained weight back, I never had more than 25 lbs to lose, but Cheryl for me that was like losing 200....
In Oct 0f 06 I maxxed out again with 22 lb backs on, and to date I'm going weekly to weight watcher mtgs, so from AA mtgs I flop into WW mtgs. thats just my way of life.. I also had friends and his side of the family, do to me what your in-laws did to you.... so we both have very common stories.....

My both kids are married with babies of their own, and how lonely it was for me not having my husband with me for their graduations, marriages and finally the babies.... but I did it sober... because I have a network of people who carry me when I can't carry myself....

THis site i feel is the same way, one trying to carry the other in tough times as well as in good times.
We're here for you, as your here for me..
We just type back and forth, but I can feel the feelings in print... from you, and I hope you can feel the feelings from me.

My life today is great, I now live at the beach, and I can feel the presence of my late husband when I'm standing on the beach at the oceans edge... that to me is what this is all about.....

This time in WW I have worked hard and it paidff, I'm again near goal I have .8 as of last tues.

So again Cherly be proud of the woman you are, as I'm proud of the woman I am..

Just don't quit, take it one meal at a time, and stay in the day.....

My best to you....

Tobe from New Jersey

Cheryl,
I don't think I can really say anything other than what's already been said, but we are all here to do this together. Even at some point if you feel you still need to have surgery, we'll still be here for you afterwards for support. We don't judge people trying to help themselves here. I'm really sorry about your husband and how his family acted. I'm really glad that you met someone else to share your life with though. :) I know you can do this. Take that first step, and keep on going.

Tobe,
You've had it rough too. You must be one really strong person. I'm really happy for you that you've been clean and sober for 18 years. Even though I've never been addicted to anything but food, I know it's had to be really hard for you to have so much on your plate (no pun intended). Congratulations on finding the strength and courage to make such a change in your life and stay that way for 18 years! I'm rooting for you to hit your goal at WW too. :)

*Hugs* to both of you!

Thanks Aimee for the kind words.....

cheryl along with everyone else, what an amazing woman you are!!! my grandfather died of pancreatic cancer in 1997 and they diagnosed it just a small tumor, but he died three months after they diagnosed... this is probably the best site ever! i just had a baby and felt like nothing could help get weight off, as a last resort, i joined ww. now 2 months and 1 week into it i have lost 21 lbs! its not much as some people lose in same time periods on other diets but its much more healthy! Take care, the recipes here are SOOO good! some of the pics may not look so but they are all great!(i have cooked most of them! my fave is the bean and cheese casserole with ff cottage cheese can't think of its name now) just hang tough and never ever give up!

Hugssss

I am always reminded in some way,my life is not that bad.

Dear Cheryl,

My heart goes out to you and my wishes for your dreams fulfilled.
I am so proud and honored to have been a part of the community who has led you to this decision. We are in this together no matter what! :)

JeanCat