Ok, baring my soul here to you all, LOL!! Before weight gain, I loved to go shopping for myself. My weight gain happened after I got married; 12 years ago. People back then started asking me if I were pregnant...I guess to understand or explain the sudden weight gain. It did something to my self esteem, knowing that people were talking about my weight. The weight just packed on from there. I used to love shopping for myself and now I don't.

Nothing from last year fits (I dropped 4 sizes) and that's a good thing. But, when I'm out trying stuff on and I look in the mirror---I still see that "fat me." I don't see a size 14 person, I see the size 22 person. I hate the way stuff fits on me. Seems like I've lost the weight all over, except for the tummy area. Will it ever go away?? I'm seriously considering a tummy tuck, but don't want to jump the gun cause maybe that's just going to be the place where I loose it last?? I find the cutest things, but some things are hard to get over the tummy. If I'd lost the weight there, I'm sure I'd be into 12's. I don't know. People tell me how amazing I look, but sometimes I just don't "see" it. How do you retrain your brain and your self concept (I can't afford a skrink, haha)?? Anyone struggle with this besides me??

Anyway, in JCPenny, I looked in the mirror and cried--I should be happy, not tearful. Thoughts??

Carrie, I just read this yesterday.
http://momtothescreamingmasses.typepad.com/the_elf_diet/2008/02/how-can-a-size.html
I can really understand what you and the author are saying. I have that problem both ways. I never see myself as smaller, but I also never see myself as big as I am unless I see photos. Try not to worry about the size number. I have size 20 jeans that fit and 18 that are so big I have to wear a belt. I have heard lots of people who take the tags out of their clothes so they aren't upset by the numbers. Don't give up. Pat

oh Carrie, I cannot tell you how strongly I identify with your words and experience. It is with me every day as I remain on track and determined to not let these thoughts prompt me to go back to old destructive eating habits. I think some of what you are going through eases with time, re the body image issues...after all, think how long many of us have been dealing with these concerns and have had some success vs how many years we stayed at the beginning of this journey. It takes a long time for old ways of looking at things to change...please keep on keeping on...it sounds like you've made some wonderful and positive changes, and the mental and emotional acceptance of that will come with time. Re the extra bulk in the tummy area...I am not an expert, but in my own experience, if it's loose skin you are speaking about, we're all different in the way our skin can tighten up after wt. loss and I think you are wise to give it time and see how things go. Certainly for many of us who have been through this, plastic surgery can be a valuable option if we need it. Take good care of yourself, think positively, and congrats on all your progress. Sincerely, Maajida

Re: your tummy area.

I have heavy thighs. I always have and I've always not liked them. My stomach goes flat but my legs never totally skinny out. (maybe if I got down to 100 lbs )
I do have to work harder on them, running etc. But I also have to know that they are the last things to skinny down. My sister is the opposite and curses me because of my flatter tummy: she hold her weight in her tummy and it is the last thing to go. But ooh how I would give for her nice thin thighs!

The point is, be patient and be greatful for your successes. Our bodies are made a certain way so just find clothes that flatter you the way hour body is. There are so many jeans I can't wear because I can't get them over my thighs, you have an opposite problem. We're not perfect but we're progressing and that's what counts. Just remember you're beautiful!!!!! And danget, size 12 or 14, they're both still low!

Carrie, i think anyone who has had weight issues and losses alot of weight, still looks at themselves as "fat", i know some days i do and i went from a size 22-24 to a size 8-10.For the first time- EVER- i felt my hips bone. I had a "pouch" from having kids and c-sections,plus from being so overweight, i had a huge overhanng. When i looked in the mirror, there were some parts of my anantomy i could not see, because the fat pouch covered it. I can remember putting on my size 22 pants and "lifting" the fat lower belly up to get into the pants.
I have never , even when i lost weight before, been in a size 10 pants let alone an 8.
My belly was the last thing to go, its not flat granted, but it dont hang over and hide things, nor do i have to lift it up to get into clothes.
I believe it is from exercising, it took alot of work and dedication to get there.
As i said in a previous thread i measure myself every 12 weeks, when i measured in Novemeber, and again yesterday , i had lost 1 1/2 inches, but that 1 1/2 inches was in my hips, and a part of that was from my lower belly "shrinking".
So things take time, or at least it has in my experience.
I still have 'fat day thinking', sometimes i wish i could see how others see me in their eyes.
Carrie, don't feed that voice in Your head that says , FAT,FAT,FAT.
Last week i went shopping with my daughter and we are going to Lake Erie for vacation, she asked me if i was going to buy a bathing suit, i looked at her with shock and horror.
Much to my surprise, i looked at them, even tried them on and bought one. I do admit i look GOOD in it, i should be proud cause i worked hard to get that look and still working, as i am a work in progress, If the progression stops, so do i.
Hang in there Carrie.

Thanks all! Sometimes the mental stuff that goes along with weight loss is just as hard to overcome. I recently have been able to stand letting people take pictures of me and so forth and actually take them and look at them--sometimes even framing them. That was a milestone considering I never liked people taking my picture. I just wondered if anyone else struggles with the "mental stuff" as much as I did the other day. I'm not usually that hard on myself. My goal is to get into a 10 again and then I will start maintenance--I don't care about the ## on the scale--just want to be a healthy 10, again. I'm struggling most with: do I want to go through the pain of a tummy tuck and look at a scar or accept the "pouch" that seems to not ever shrink. I want so badly to buy cute stuff that doesn't cling to that problem area and make me look like a freak.

I STILL SEE MYSELF AS FAT AND NOT PERFECT.

Everyone tells me that I am so thin but I don't see it. I can show them where I am not. I figure if I can cover it up I will be the only one that has to see it. I have the lower abdomen that has muscle atrophy from not using it and stretching it from three pregnancies and over weight. My arms have bat wings but I keep the upper arm covered. I do think that they are improving slightly with the gym but don't think they will recover from years of abuse and yoyoing. I believe that all of us that have had significant amounts of weight to lose have these feelings. I will never be able to wear a bikini but I don't want to either.