Hi Uki
I went thru 2 teemagers, thank God they're both grown and married..
If that was my son, I would punish him, a month is a little tough, first of all, he'll drive you crazy, I think 2 weeks is a good amount of time to give him
the message.
School?? thats up to you and your husband..to decide
what to do.
(I would notify them of the situation, if it was me)
Lying is bad, becasue they take that into their
adult life..
I have a daughter that lied as a child, and I thought
what an imagination she has, well, she's now grown
and still lies.
She'll come up with a story, so far fetched, and then say don't you remember mom.. no I don't remember because it never happened.. so today I'll call
her a pathological liar..
The most important thing to my son when he was your sons age, was his bike, and thats what we took
away from him....
Nip this in the bud, before it really gets out of hand..
Good Luck.....
This is so hard for me because I always thought of him as an honest kid and now I find myself second guessing EVERYTHING! We have always told our kids that they can tell us anything, and I guess part of my problem is that by covering for Joe, Wes was communicating to us that his relationship with Joe is more important than an honest relationship with his parents. I realize that this is the age where peers are important, but he and I have always had a closer relationship. In fact, he is closer to me than he is to his dad. He will talk to me about all kinds of personal issues, so it seemed so out of character for him to conceal something like this.
So, I have called the teacher in charge of student council about him not participating in the dance and we are deciding on the grounding.[
I felt like the school should be notified, but my husband just wanted to put it all behind us... So I am not sure what will happen there.
We asked Wes about it last night and Joe has been a friend of his since they were about 4 years old. They aren't best buddies, but they are friends. Joe has never hurt Wes before. Joe is also one of the more popular kids and we suspect Wes was trying to kind of fit in a little more with that crowd. Wes is more like one of those middle-group kids as far as popularity goes - he is not an athlete or a brain, but he is in the band and was elected to student council, etc. I also know he likes a girl right now and may have not wanted to cause a scene at school for fear of embarrassing himself in front of her.
Despite all that, it still doesn't seem to explain why he wouldn't tell us the truth. I can understand covering for Joe at school, but I don't understand the lying at home. Sigh. :(
Hi Uki, sorry to hear of the trouble. We went through them with one of our boys. I agree with Tobe on the length of time for the grounding. A month is a long time. I had always told my sons that if they lie to me I won't be able to trust them for a long time. When it did happen the trust was gone. It will come back with time. Knowing that Joe is a very good friend of Wes and for so long I would not tell the school and get him expelled. Let his parents punish him. You and your hubby should decide on what to take away, it should be something that would make an impact so he will feel the punishment. Also, pray, pray, pray, that's what got us through the teenage years. Just a thought, maybe Joe is a cutter (on himself) and he was doing it to your son for kicks. I could be way wrong and don't have any experience with cutters, but I just thought of that. I'm praying for you.
