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Tropical Storm Upgraded!

Did I hear someone say Wayne? It turns out that an early spring Tropical Storm system has gained momentum and will be the first named storm of the year.

That's right, bitches. Hurricane Wayne is back. Keep an eye out in the IFL in 2008.

It's not yet clear where the hurricane will make landfall, but we know that it will bring terrible devastation to both opponent defensive backs and team morale in its wake.

Those in the hurricane's path should prepare to be awed by the rare combination of natural talent and humility brought forth by the storm. His Wayne-ness has laid waste to many a team, often leaving no one alive to tell the story.

Former teammates beware, Hurricane Wayne 2K8 is a higher intensity storm than previous incarnations. This new storm talks more mess than all of the previous storms combined. It's suggested that if you come within 500 nautical miles of Hurricane Wayne, you wear earplugs to protect your hearing from the fierce onslaught of ridiculous excuses and yo-momma jokes.

We'll post further updates as the storm develops, so check back with the NWS frequently. And if you happen to be in the path of Hurricane Wayne, may god have mercy on your soul.

Re: Tropical Storm Upgraded!

Been a year or two since ive seen the hurricane wayne.

Re: Tropical Storm Upgraded!

Ya today it was a F-5 but since we pulled your stats from years past you are now a slight rain storm.
You are a BUMMMMMMM!!!!!!
Weather Man

Re: Tropical Storm Upgraded!

Ya I hurd sum 1 ask y da sprinkler system waz on in March, dunno what dat was bout!!! Hurricane Wayne might be a lil past his tyme, I mean he aint never had much game anyways so jus callin him a "slight rain storm" right now is making him feels good!!

Re: Tropical Storm Upgraded!

just out of curiosity,
what are your guys' stats?

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For those who doubted the power of Hurricane Wayne, much of the upper midwest will by morning be covered in ice and snow after having enjoyed near 60 degree moderation less than 24 hours ago. Oh, ye of little faith. The Wayner's mouth does not write checks his ass can't back up (though real checks are another deal, ya'll)

Those who doubt the awesome power of Hurricane Wayne will pay dearly. The onslaught of selflessness and maturity will make even the most senior and character-oriented athlete blush in admiration. Not only will Hurricane Wayne blow through triple coverages to the end zone, but you'll never hear a single word from this inspirationally selfless player.

For Hurricane Wayne, there is no I in team, but there's no team in W-A-Y-N-E, either.

See you bitches when they're handing Wayne the trophy.

Re: Tropical Storm Upgraded!

Has wayne won a championship or an MVP?

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I'd recommend him to any team that needs a player/coach, he's awsome. Just ask him!

I can't wait to see who's bench he's sitting on!

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If his posts are like years past, I find him quite entertaining. Keep the hurricane coming.

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Do any of you doubt the implications of the Hurricane's return? Just ask Brett Favre. He chose to hang up his cleats rather than to try to share the spotlight with the performance of the Wayner in 2008.

The Associated Press is reporting a 35% increase in the incidence of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder among defensive backs since the announcement of Hurricane Wayne's return.

Nike has announced the production of an unprecedented 2 inch cleat, which will be available to defensive backs trying to not to get juked by the Wayner in his crisp and perfectly executed routes.

Defensive players across the land are lobbying their teams for darker colored jerseys so that the dirt on their back when the Wayner drops a nasty crackback block will not be so readily evident.

Will you doubters and haters be last to recognize the gathering storm? An ounce of preparation is worth a pound of cure, and the cans of whoop-ass that the Hurricane brings to bear are 12 ounces. You do the math, bitches.

Re: Tropical Storm Upgraded!

How many Rings does Wayne have? What team is he playing for or better yet does any team even want him?