a psychopath always knows exactly why they are doing things so never be fooled by the classic sorry followed by “I dont know” unless of course they have a different pathology.
If you look at the definition of the word sorry it !feeling pity or regret” for example you may feel pity on someone or say “I feel sorry for that person who just got cancer” The psychopath as always flips everything around in their head and I believe their definition of sorry is completely skewed.
When it comes to understanding the word sorry they are in essence only feeling sorry for themselves I.e. for getting caught out in a lie or being told off for something they have done wrong.
In fact their whole map of the world is slightly off centre and skewed. For example when it comes to love many psychopaths have no ability to feel real love for anyone – the only person they actually love is themselves. Their whole basis of being “in Love” is to find a partner who reflects back to them what they believe is the perfect person.
In the initial stages they may “appear” to be in love with us but it’s just a ruse to get us to feel bonded with them after the love bombing. In turn we give them as much narcissist supply as possible in the form of sex, money or fill in the blanks. When this runs out and their narcissistic supply isn’t enough for them because we don’t love them enough in their minds, they’ll drop us like a hot potato and move on to target number x.
Once a victim starts to get their head around the dynamics of the relationship that was never a relationship in the first place they will soon learn that a genuine heart-felt sorry from a psychopath, sociopath, narcissist or borderline will NEVER be forthcoming. Never will any of these disordered individuals have the capacity to understand the pain they have caused to their victims. Due to the sense of grandiosity and entitlement they will think that the victims “had it coming” “they deserved it” “they were misunderstood” and so on.
If they have found fresh sources of narcissistic supply they will often tell their next target that their victims treated them poorly and use they pity play tactic to gain sympathy votes such as “my ex girlfriend/wife was a ******** “I lost my job” “I was sick and no one was there for me”
In the case of my own psychopath ex who I believe does not have any new source of narcissistic supply. It probably explains why he continues to do unbelievably pathological things such as pretending to be other people on dating sites, face book and more. He has in the last two years never made any attempt whatsoever to pay back the monies he owes me nor send me a letter apologising for the pain and hurt he caused to me and my family. It would never occur to him that he’s actually done anything wrong or to say sorry. Unlike victims who spent their entire time looking at themselves thinking “what could I have done to make things better” It would never occur to him or any other psychopath that any time anything that happened in his life was HIS responsibility even down to losing his jobs and so on. It will always be someone elses fault.
Because they have no sense of self. They tend to put victims on a pedestal in the beginning of the relationship. Like the model they have of us is all skewed anyway whereby they often imply to us that we are something far greater than we really are because they have no sense of their own self . This is one of the reasons they use fake and overly flattering comments because they are fakes.
When they see someone who is more successful or talented than them rather than rationalizing that it may be as a result of hard work or being more talents they usually see it as a source of narcissistic supply or a possible threat. Since their sole modus operandi is about power and control and winning and if someone is not a source of narcissistic supply they the psychopath is looking to get one over on them because they are usually envious and feel entitled which is why they intentially go out to hurt so many people. If your narcissistic supply then your OK and dandy but the moment you’re a threat to their mask of sanity you discarded like trash.
In my case, the last thing they want to see is they victims coming out of the relationships happy and contented and moving on with their lives. I am now seen as the enemy. My ex will never understand the motivation for writing my book and doing my website was to help others because of the hurt and pain he caused. He can’t comprehend that normal people don’t think the same way has him or that they don’t wish to hurt everyone or seek vengence. He probably doesn’t understand why I never exposed him to his family despite all the despicable things he and others do that I talk about in Dark Souls and he certainly doesn’t have the capacity to self reflect because in their minds their is nothing wrong with them.
Since rightly or wrongly
in his mind I am now a perceived threat in his mind he’s most probably sitting in his house right now thinking to himself “what the hell have I done wrong, I am the victim here, its her not me” He’s probably seething with envy.. for what? His mindset right now when his is stalking by doing weird things like pretending to be other people via facebook or dating sites is “you may have moved on but not until I say so”.
It’s all skewed the same way as their relationship with the word love and the word sorry is skewed.
Will he ever take responsibility for his actions ? Will he ever say Sorry? The answer is a big fat No. For this reason the relationship cycle always ends with the victim perhaps often trying to make amends and saying sorry even though they may have done nothing wrong and the psychopathic individual either disregarding their former victims or worse stalking and harrassing them. There is never really any proper closure.
If you are expecting some kind of closure, dont expect it by getting a genuine sorry from a psychopath is a case of mission impossible. Because like this song says psychopaths don’t have the cognitive or emotional capacity to look inside and see that they have actually done anything wrong and in their mind saying sorry is impossible for them. They are more concerned with what can they get from you to make them love them because “Sorry seems to be the hardest word.”
The best thing you can do with you life is move on, never look back take time to heal and be happy.
Narcissists are prone to be workaholics, but unlike those that work hard to enhance life, the narcissist only strives for power and craves being the center of attention. They use manipulation tactics in order to get people to serve as pawns as a way of achieving their goal. They will say anything, name-drop, and do whatever is needed to simply impress others. As the narcissist’s arrogance builds, the illusion of grandeur affects all areas of their life, and the lives of those closest to them. It is inevitable that the narcissist fails, and as confidence wanes, growing insecurity causes them to criticize their spouse in order to regain the superior position in the relationship. The narcissist then believes that he or she is above the law and societal rules, and now they have the components that lead to unethical and immoral behavior. They lose their integrity by committing outrageous acts of lying, stealing, fraud, and infidelities. Projection of blame and even dissociation gives these self-serving individuals license to be unfaithful, to go elsewhere to feed their sagging egos, and it matters not whom gets hurt in the process. This is a never-ending cycle of a narcissist.